I know it’s already come and gone, but every year, when the calendar marks the official first day of autumn, something shifts inside me. Kind of like how the trees in our neighborhood go from this…

To this…

It’s not just the shortened days or cooler air, which inevitably leads to this change in wardrobe…

It’s the quiet reminder that the holiday season is suddenly much closer than it feels.

I know, I know. Fall is just starting and I’m bringing up the holidays. September (and maybe the very beginning of October) might still carry some of summer’s warmth, but autumn breezes promises cozy evenings, golden leaves, and the unmistakable rush toward the end of the year. I’m not trying to usher in the holidays quicker, they just seem to come faster every year.

For me, the first day of autumn always feels like a starter pistol in a race. I know that once the equinox passes, time seems to accelerate: Halloween will be here in a blink, Thanksgiving right on its heels, and then the sparkle of December arrives before I’ve even caught my breath.

I’ll be honest: the beginning of fall gives me anxiety. Is it because I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety or do “normal” people get it, too? I don’t know. What I do know is this is when I’ll hyper-focus on the holidays and start to scramble to get things ready.

Halloween? I need to start buying bags of candy to build up our stash to pass out, but I dislike going out to the store. Thanksgiving? Costco doesn’t put out the turkeys and hams until about two weeks before Thanksgiving, so I have to watch out for that. Plus I have to clean out the freezer to make room and I need to start deep cleaning the house since we host.

And Christmas? Ugh. Back in May I convinced myself that I was going to give cross-stitch pictures that I did myself to my in-laws and family. And I picked bigger projects than I normally do. Ask me if I’m done with at least half of the projects and I’ll just give you a panicked shake of my head.

This is what I have so far: three of the four cross stitch ornaments for my kids.

But, I also have two bigger projects that I haven’t even started yet, plus a slighter bigger (than the ornaments) one that I looked at, but didn’t start.

And, I readily admit that all of this anxiety is of my own making and might not seem like a big deal to others. But, it is a big deal to me and my anxiety/depressed/Fibromyalgia brain. The only thing I can do is ride the anxiety wave and stumble around trying to get through it. It might not be the best solution, but it works for me.

It’s a bit like standing at the top of a hill, looking down at the months ahead. From this point forward, the days shorten, the nights lengthen, and everything begins to glow with anticipation. Even the simple things—a cinnamon-scented candle, the sight of pumpkins at the market, or the first chilly morning that calls for a sweater (which actually happened this weekend!)—become small reminders that celebrations are on the horizon.

For me, the first day of autumn isn’t just a date on the calendar; it’s a personal marker. It tells me: Get ready. The holidays are coming fast. It really is my favorite time of year, despite the chaos and anxiety. And while the pace of it all can feel overwhelming, there’s also comfort in knowing that the year’s most nostalgic and meaningful moments are just around the corner.